Tips for Parents

Enhancing parent–child relationship

1. A strong bond with at least one adult is extremely important for a child.
2. Take on projects together as a family. Taking part in meaningful and challenging family activities will help your child feel needed and important and will strengthen his or her sense of responsibility.
3. Set aside a regular time each week to plan family activities, and encourage your child to suggest activities. Schedule family meetings to discuss family issues and resolve problems.
4. Give praise where praise is due. Acknowledging a child’s efforts will give him or her the incentive to continue. Eat meals together regularly.
5. Observe traditional family rituals, such as holidays, birthdays and special events.

Building a Better Sense of Purpose and Hopefulness and a Belief in a Bright and Successful Future

1. A sense of purpose and a positive attitude are necessary to establishing and achieving positive goals.
2. Encourage your child to look toward the future with optimism and to picture a bright and positive future from an early age.
3. Encourage your child to look ahead to what he/she would like to be doing one, three, five and 10 years from now. Support your child’s positive ideas and discuss things he/she can do to make them happen.
4. Help your child keep a positive outlook, even when obstacles or hardships block his or her path.

Developing Good Relationships: Teach your Child how to

1. Choose friends wisely.
2. Get along with others.
3. Share and compromise.
4. Solve arguments and problems without fighting.
5. Be the kind of person others want to have as a friend and teammate.

Setting Realistic Goals

1. Your child will learn how to make progress in life by learning to set goals and working to reach them.
2. Discuss what your child would like to accomplish. Help your child set goals and work to reach them. The goals need to be realistic – something the child can actually accomplish.
3. Help develop a reasonable timetable, then help your child achieve results.
4. When a goal is achieved, celebrate the event.
5. As the child grows older, continue to help establish and reach new and larger goals.

Improving Problem–Solving Skills

1. Children need to be taught how to make the best possible decisions when faced with a problem or when they need to choose a course of action.
2. Help your child consider alternative solutions.
3. Select a solution that is most consistent with goals and values.

Teaching Self–Discipline

1. Teach your child to consider the short and long term consequences of his or her actions.
2. Encourage your child to question which choices will help or hinder reaching set goals.
3. Have your child consider whether he/she would be proud of the choice or later regret it. Such questions help a child look toward the future instead of seeking instant gratification.

Building Self–Esteem and Self-Confidence

1. You can enhance your child’s self–esteem by helping him or her develop a belief in himself/herself and his/her abilities.
2. Point out special talents and skills and believe in his/her ability to achieve results.
3. Praise his/her successes, both large and small.
4. Help him or her learn from failures without criticizing his/her efforts.

Being in Control of One’s Life

1. By learning to make decisions for himself/herself, your child can learn to influence events rather than being a victim of them.
2. Encourage your child to make decisions appropriate for his/her age.
3. Help him or her to learn from the natural consequences of his/her actions.
4. Help him or her see how his/her actions and choices affect the events in his/her life.

Maintaining a Sense of Humour

1. A sense of humour helps a person maintain balance and avoid overreacting to situations.
2. Teach your child to see the humour in life and its events. Encourage children to laugh at himself or herself.
3. Resisting peer pressure is one of the greatest challenges an adolescent will face. They may know an activity is wrong and may genuinely not want to take part, but the pressure to conform is intense.
4. Parents can’t make peer pressure go away and they can’t always be there to help shape their child’s decisions. But you can help them follow their own good instincts by teaching them a variety of ways to avoid giving in to direct peer pressure. Then, when they’re put on the spot, it will be easier for them to resist.
5. You might start by pointing out the most obvious solution, which is to firmly say, “No, I don’t want to do that,” and then walk away. But many kids are scared that such abrupt action will damage their relationships with their friends.

Point out possible repercussions: “We could get thrown out of school for this”. Or: “My dad would go ballistic if he found out”.
Use a little humour: “No thanks. I have a date with Aishwarya Rai and I hear she disapproves doing drugs”. Humour is one of the surest ways to calm a tense situation. You and your child can even have fun together coming up with different responses.
Suggest an alternative: Say “No” and change the subject or suggest another activity. “Did you hear what happened to Manish last night?” Or: “Let’s go check out this new mall”.
Reverse the pressure: Sometimes, the best defence is a good offence. “Arrre, you know I’m not into that”. Or: “I thought you were my friend. A friend wouldn’t hassle me”.
Ask a question: “Why would I want to do that?” Or: “Have you thought about what would happen if we got caught?”
Make an excuse, even if you have to make one up: “I can’t. A friend’s coming over in 15 minutes, and I have to get home”. Or: “I’m training for sports, and I don’t want to do that”.
Give a reason: “No way. Dope make my breath smell worse than an ash tray!”

Go over the responses with your child, then think up different situations he/she might face and practice responding to them. Bear in mind that what works best will vary from person to person and among different peer groups, so leave it to your child to decide the most appropriate responses.

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