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One of the critical skills for those of us with disabilities is to learn how to become assertive without being aggressive. Being assertive is standing up for ourselves and not accepting our disability as an excuse for rejection. It doesn’t threaten the other person. Being aggressive, on the other hand, puts the other person on the defensive and throws up roadblocks to win–win outcomes. Found below is the first hand account of a persons with disability.

To stop or prevent others from using my disability as an excuse for rejection, I have worked on developing “Me” as a person. I am educated and use these points to help others see me as a person, and not as a disability. Once I moved through my mourning/anger stages, I began working to recover. The man I had been before the accident changed a few things. The kindest, loveliest comment I have ever received was from a friend who said, “I don’t think of you as disabled. I think of you as you, just as you are”. That statement made me believe that I may be presenting myself as a person with a disability, not a disability with a person attached to it.

Read more: Coming to Terms with Rejection and Fighting It